Sam is the national leader for training and coaching in the Assemblies of God. Sam has been an evangelist, pastor and preached in many different events. He coaches people now not only in a church but also in a corporate level. He coaches on conflict and dealing with it. After going through a tough time in his life he was driven towards coaching. He had only been exposed a little bit to coaching before this and he really went towards it after this situation. There are two different types of transitions in life which are reactive transitions and developmental transitions.
The first activity we did in class was to have four cards that had quotes on them. We were instructed to try and trade our cards with other class mates in order to find our favorite quote that we would later on read to the class. This activity was done to help us communicate with others when there is something that we want and they do not want to give up.
We then started to list several positive things that may come out of conflict and negative ones. A big positive result was that it provides an opportunity to grow. A book Sam highly recommended for us to read about conflict is "God Meant it for Good" by RT Kendall. In this book Kendall talks about how when Joseph spoke against the people who were involved in the conflict is cost him two more years in jail. So Sam never spoke out against those who he had a situation with a long time ago.
A way to have positive conflict is to turn it into a win-win instead of a win-lose situation. When we are true disciples of Christ then we decide that we are going to live our lives looking to have win-win in our conflict resolutions. So that each side can have a win. When we can take someones perspective or ways of how we can reach out to them we can have solutions to problems or conflict. The greatest way to reach out is to ask for forgiveness.
Opinions to someone who is speaking them is the fact to them. When you can speak back what someone has said in terms or fact and opinion so that you can show them that you were listening. When we let someone know that you see and hear their emotions is takes all the energy out of the emotions and it diffuses it.Values and beliefs are what produce behavior. To see what values they have and acknowledge them you will understand what will drive their actions. To recognize what is important to them will bring about positive results to conflict.
***Anything that we can make cognitive we can take the energy out if it.***
Whenever we can hand something back to the other party then we can show them that it did not sit well and they should have done something in a different way.
When we are dealing with conflict we want to move it towards positive conflict. If we can teach the people we are discipling
Perspective taking
Creating solutions
Expressing emotions
Reaching out
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